


Dear Evan Hansen One Shot

by fxns



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Depression, Gen, Sad, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 11:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11417358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxns/pseuds/fxns
Summary: Evan let go.TRIGGER WARNINGS.





	Dear Evan Hansen One Shot

**Author's Note:**

> CHARACTER(s) BASED: Evan Hansen, Heidi Hansen
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dear Evan Hansen and I haven't seen the musical, I do not live in NYC to go to a Broadway play.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of suicide attempt, depression
> 
> Short One Shot

Evan stared at his left arm, his shoulders shuddering at the thought of what had just happened. Broken plant cells leaked into his clothes, staining them green. His body splayed out on the ground, only pain registering in his body at the moment.

The tree, he had jumped out of the goddamn tree. No, no, that can't be his story, his mother would send him away or worse. Heidi could be flexible, but if her son was in danger, he would never be left alone. She would take time off, lose money they didn't have to lose, Evan couldn't tell her.

So, he lay in wait, longing for someone to find his body at the bottom of the tree. The pain had dulled down, the shock that he was still alive fading.

I couldn't even get this right. Why couldn't I even do this correctly?

His whole body ached as he sighed, his head rolling to the side on a tree root. Evan felt like closing his eyes, hoping he would never open them again. But some part of him wanted to remain here.

Evan didn't know if anyone would ever find him. He didn't know if he had broken his back and just had a delayed feeling. He didn't know if anyone would care if he hadn't failed. His mom would bat an eye, sure, but she wouldn't even notice he was gone the first few days.

"Hey! You alright?" A man called, footsteps nearing Evan's body. He opened his mouth to reply with no, I just tried to kill myself, but only a moan escaped. "Are you hurt? God, you're hurt, aren't you?"

"I- I fell." Evan moaned, kicking his legs as the pain began to come back in swells.

"No no, don't move. I'm calling an ambulance."

The familiar beeps of dialing prompted him to move onto his stomach, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. His left arm had swelled twice it's normal size now, throbbing as he pulled himself to his feet.

"N-no really, I'm okay. I-it's just my arm. I-I-I'll call my mom." Evan stuttered out, trying to reassure the stranger.

The other man offered him his phone, which Evan hesitantly took. While dialing his mom's number, the man awkwardly leaned against the tree, waiting for the teenager to be done using his phone.

One short and anxious phone call later, Heidi was on her way. She promised not to break any traffic laws on the way, but Evan wasn't so sure.

"Th-thanks for the phone. She's on her way, I'll be going to wait for her. B-Bye."

BREAKBREAKBREAK

"Evan Hansen, you fell out of a tree? What were you doing climbing the tree to begin with?" Heidi exasperated, pacing back and forth in the emergency room. Evan's arm was resting on a pillow, a temporary splint keeping his arm steady. The doctors had done full body exam upon Heidi's request, warming Evan's heart.

You ruined everything Hansen, she cares. She cares and you just tried to end your own life.

Shut up. Of course, she doesn't care, she just wants to appear as a good mom.

"I just wanted… a good view." Evan whispered, knowing if he told the truth he wouldn't be leaving this hospital tonight.

"A good view? A good view?! Since when did you climb trees for a good view?" Heidi exclaimed, sitting down beside her son on the exam table.

"I guess I wanted to try something new. You know… step out of my comfort zone. You're always telling me I need to." Evan defended, gazing at the bruised and swollen flesh that was now his left arm.

She's going to say that's not what she meant.

"Evan… sweetie… I did not mean for you to go climb a tree and fall out of it! I meant for you to order some pizza, talk to your teacher when you don't understand your homework, call Jared even! Evan…climbing a tree isn't even social." Heidi protested, laying a comforting hand on his good arm.

"Ordering pizza is so hard though. You have to talk to the delivery person as they make change and wait for them to count the change and stand there awkwardly and wait and wait and wait and-"

Evan, shut up.

"Sorry, mom, I rambled again."

"It's okay sweetie, let's just get your arm fixed and then we can go home. I'm going to get a drink from the vending machine, want anything?"

"No, no thanks." Evan considered, his heart dropping as she opened the door. "Hey mom?"

Tell her. Tell her you let go in the tree, you didn't fall. Tell her you wanted to die. Tell her you purposefully fell, tell her you didn't want to live anymore. Tell her you wanted to leave her.

No. She would hate you. No. Do not tell her, never tell her. We would lose money because she would want to hover, you would be even more of a burden.

But she needs to know.

"Evan, do you want something?" Heidi asked, taking a step back into the room. Evan blinked, breaking himself from his mental trance.

"N-no. Sorry. I'll see you back in a few minutes."

His heart fell as the door closed, leaving him alone in the exam room. The thin hospital gown did nothing to protect him from the cold of the building, the cold he felt in his body. The guilt from not telling anyone was weighing in, but all Evan could do was push it down. A single tear rolled down his cheek just before the doctor entered to cast his arm.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed :)  
> Remember to leave kudos and comments, I welcome it!


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